The Case for a Canadian-led Humanitarian Intervention in conflict stricken United States of America | SATIRE
Written by: Aidan Jonah
In 2003, over false pretenses of Iraq possessing Weapons of Mass Destruction, the United States government put together a Coalition of the Willing to invade them. While Canadians were not officially part of the coalition, we provided significant aid to their efforts, according to Wikileaks documents.
The United States government, through its intelligence agencies, such as the CIA and the FBI have overthrown dozens of governments, leftist or not, for far lesser violations of democracy and levels of civil unrest.
Today, a pro-Trump mob assembled at Capitol Hill, and was able to make it inside the chambers of the House and Senate. Capitol Hill police officers took selfies with these extremists and allowed the extremists in, while representatives were forced to hide in a secure area for hours. The extremists were allowed to voluntarily leave Capitol Hill by the police force, as the Department of Defense refused calls to deploy the national guard for over an hour.
As a proud expert on America, who has never lived in the country at all in my life, I feel that I am supremely qualified to determine that, due to the political instability and anti-democratic actions of several United States administrations, it is necessary to create a new Coalition of the Willing to invade the United States of America, and restore democracy and stability to a conflict torn country.
In recent years, the extremist right-wing group known as the “Republican party” has worked to block tens of millions from voting in “free and fair elections”, while the Democratic Party rigged the 2016 and 2020 Democratic Presidential Nomination races against Senator Bernie Sanders.
Police have worked to protect the various right-wing regimes which have been in power in the country. These evil state enforcers have violently repressed movements such as Occupy in 2011, protests over the killing of Michael Brown in 2014, Freddie Gray in 2015, Philando Castile in 2016, Standing Rock in 2017 and most recently the 2020 uprisings in protest of the public lynching of George Floyd. The brave people of the USA have stood up to the enforcers despite threats, violence and intimidation.
We all know that to gain control of the territory making up the USA, settlers committed a horrific genocide against Indigenous Nations, murdering them and forcefully dispossessing them of their land. This genocide, perpetrated by the Canadian government as well, continues to this very day.
The violent American state has historically repressed pro-democracy movements, most famously jailing socialist candidate Eugene Debs in 1918, for resisting an imperialist war. These actions alone should’ve justified liberating the American people.
The world has watched in horror as the dystopian American state refuses to provide basic human necessities such as healthcare and housing to its citizens, while corrupt elites control the government, through financial dominance or direct occupation of political roles.
The state despises the free press, and whistleblowers. Wikileaks publisher Julian Assange faces farcical charges of espionage for leaking documents revealing horrific American war crimes, and was trapped in the Ecaudorian embassy for years, before being captured and transferred to Belmarsh prison. NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden also faces espionage charges for revealing how the American surveillance state watches closely all activities of the American people, violating the privacy rights of its citizens. Where is the democracy?
The state is also destructive abroad, with its intelligence agencies playing a direct role in dozens of coups over the past few decades. In recent years, fascistic state operatives have pushed to overthrow the Venezuelan government through puppet leader Juan Guaido, militarily supported Bolivian fascists who overthrew the Bolivian government in 2019, played a leading role in overthrowing Libyan leader Moammar Ghaddafi in 2011, works to overthrow the Syrian government and doctors false claims of gas attacks, supported Ukrainian neo-Nazis in overthrowing the government in 2014, backed violent forces which seeked to overthrow the left-wing Ortega government in Nicaragua in 2018, supports secessionist Hong Kong “pro-democracy protesters” and funds terrorist groups and false reports of genocide in Xianjing, while working every day to destabilize China in the midst of a new cold war. The American state seeks only to expand its sphere of influence, deny countries their sovereignty, and maintain dictatorial control over all.
The Trump regime, defeated at the ballot box, refuses to cede power. The right-wing extremists who support him are extremely violent and pose a severe danger to their fellow Americans. Without intervention, a civil war could occur at any moment. The American regime would aid and abet these terrorists, threatening to destabilize adjacent countries. Despite the Biden regime being sworn in, the nation is still in crisis.
The conflict stricken United States of China is a dangerous power, led by corrupt leaders, who violate the human rights of citizens and repress pro-democracy, which pursues an imperialist foreign policy, which has led to the death of tens of millions across the world.
There is a clear and desperate need for a humanitarian intervention in the United States of America. As the country located closest to the long-lost USA, I believe that Canada is best placed to lead this crucial intervention. It would be a moment for redemption for the Canadian state, which led the imperialist intervention of Libya in 2011. The state would need to de-colonize and return its land to the various Indigenous nations afterwards, but this would at least be a positive start.
Here is the official criteria, as provided by the Prime Minister’s Office:
"Each country is contributing in the way most appropriate for it. Some have contributed military combat and support forces to the coalition. Others are providing access, basing and over-flight rights. Still others have committed themselves to post-conflict peacekeeping and reconstruction efforts. Some countries have simply come to us to say that they would like to join the coalition to lend their political voice in support."
The American people live under a violent and corrupt regime. It is our moral imperative to liberate them from this repressive regime imminently.
Aidan Jonah is the Editor-in-Chief of The Canada Files, a socialist, anti-imperialist news site founded in 2019. He has written about Canadian imperialism, federal politics, and left-wing resistance to colonialism across the world. He is a second-year Bachelor of Journalism student at Ryerson University, who was the Head of Communications and Community Engagement for Etobicoke North NDP Candidate Naiima Farah in the 2019 Federal Election.
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